Like Wind, Like Sunlight
by Mistofstars
Summary: Dean and Castiel discuss the "personal space" issue and Castiel's true from - "I know you for more than a year now, and I don't even know what you really look like. It's like this secret I'm not allowed to disclose, but I'm frigging impatient to do so. I want to know what you look like" DESTIEL


Author: Mistofstars

Disclaimer: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and Castiel belong to the writers and creators of Supernatural, none of them are mine – all of this is made up, no profit is being made with it.

Author's note: set after 5x03 (Dean and Cas in the car after finding Raphael, Dean talking about how great he feels, that he's had more fun with Cas than with Sam, Cas disappears) and before 5x04.

Rating: T, nothing explicit

Warnings: fluff, a bit slashy [light-porn I'd like to call it that way], a bit ust-ish

**Like wind, like sunlight**

Dean dropped down on the bed of the motel he had settled in for the night. He sat there with a glass of some random whiskey, taking a long gulp out of it; he harrumphed when the high percentage liquid started a little pleasant fire in his throat. He looked at his watch, realizing it was only 9 pm. The motel was quiet, and outside the distant albeit constant noise of passing by trucks and cars roared. Dean knew the last thing he was supposed to do tonight was to stay in this room and get drunk all alone, because, honestly, that was just sad and pitiful. He knew he should probably go outside into a bar or a club and get drunk with some hot chick he could take here later, that was a thing the old Dean would probably do. But tonight he didn't feel like it. He hadn't felt like it in quite a while, and after his little trip to Hell, he saw a lot of things differently now.

Be that as it was, Dean was all on his own for the nonce, and this wasn't about to change any time soon. Sam had left, feeling incapable of hunting – and that hurt even more than Dean wanted to admit, because he couldn't stop worrying about his little brother, but eventually he _had _to let go of him. He felt deserted with a task beyond his capabilities, he had to worry about the frigging apocalypse and angels hunting him, in addition to his well-known demonic foes, all of them wanting a piece of his sweet ass. And Cas, well, Cas had disappeared as well, without a word, without a reason given.

Dean chugged his drink and poured himself a refill. _That son of a bitch_ he thought when he drank and thought about Cas. He did have fun with the angel indeed during their mission, seeing character traits of him he hadn't known or recognized before – Castiel using swearwords, or Cas being afraid of the lovely blonde prostitute, it was all, well, Dean didn't want to use that word, but his demeanour was rather _cute_; how innocent and enthusiastic the angel could be. However, he sometimes was an unsolved riddle to Dean, he often did not understand why he was doing certain things, for example, why he had left so quickly a few hours ago.

As if he had heard his thoughts, there was a rattle and a whirl of fluttering wings, and then Castiel sat next to him on the bed, his shoulder almost touching Dean's, so close was he. Dean jumped vehemently and spilled some of his whiskey, which landed on his jeans, unpleasantly wetting the fabric above his thigh. "Dammit, Cas!", he cursed, drying his soaked hand on his jeans. He gave the angel a resentful look, even more unnerved when he saw how confused Castiel looked at him, not understanding why Dean was upset. Exasperated Dean sighed and let his shoulders hang down – he looked into Castiel's way too blue eyes, trying to get through to him.

"I've told you, personal space! I should give you a small bell or something, so that I have a forewarning whenever you decide to pop in – you always scare me to death", he grumbled, while he turned around to place his now-_empty_ glass on the floor. When he observed Castiel again he saw the angel had wrinkled his forehead, obviously trying to make sense out of Dean's words, whereas he wore a little smile on his lips. Dean was confused – he seldom saw the angel smile, he supposed it wasn't a thing angels usually did, but he liked to see Castiel smile nonetheless, it was a beautiful thing.

"May I ask you something?", Castiel said, facing Dean – he just nodded, marvelling how the smile on Castiel's mouth became wider, turning into a smirk. _That_was not only creepy, but also confusing, Dean decided.

"Why are you so bothered about my vessel's distance to you? No one else asked me to stand off before, so I assume I didn't misdo something terribly. No other human or angel told me I was standing too close to them. So, would you tell me the actual reason?"

Dean saw a knowing expression in Castiel's eyes, looking at him bluntly and exceptionally knowing, too knowing for his taste. He knew he and Castiel could stare at each other for minutes, but right now he didn't think he could withstand those piercing eyes, trying to pry in his thoughts, so he looked on the ground. For a moment he fought an inner struggle, musing whether he wanted to answer Castiel's question or not. Words blurted out of him before he could control himself.

"It's just... when you appear so suddenly, it just freaks me out. It reminds me you're not the nerdy weird dude I sometimes think you are – you're an _angel_ after all, this, well, _to me_, incomprehensible being. Call it instinct, but I've been raised with the premise to stay away from supernatural beings, so, yeah, it bothers me when you appear so close to me. Nothing personal, though."

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, and when it became awkward, Dean looked up and saw Castiel was deeply lost in thoughts, furrowing his brow fiercely, as he was probably considering Dean's explanation. Dean was about to even apologize to him, in case he had been rude (because, when it came to Cas, Dean actually cared about the impact of his words), but Castiel's eyes then wandered to his, an expression of distress clearly in them.

"But, I'm in my vessel, Dean, to walk among people. I'm included in human flesh and wrapped in human clothes, so you don't have to fear me. I am your friend, Dean, you don't have to fear me", he explained frantically, trying to gain Dean's trust. Dean immediately understood Cas had mistaken him, and he quickly placed a soothing hand on Castiel's shoulder, attempting to calm him, though he did not know if it was affecting him beyond his carnal charade.

Dean bend a bit forward to look directly into Castiel's eyes, and a part of him thought how ridiculously close they were to each other. Especially when he thought about his instructions how to maintain personal space. He could almost feel the heat radiating from Castiel's face, and when he observed him, he wondered if he really saw the angel actually _blush _as their moist breaths collided with each other_._ He concluded he looked pleasing like this, his lips slightly parted in awe, his wide blue eyes desperately clinging to his face... Dean felt something tugging at his chest, a quilted warmth which fogged his clear-headedness.

"That's not what I meant, Cas", he responded softly, allowing his thumb to draw small patterns upon Castiel's trench coat. He saw the angel relax visibly, albeit still tensed and confused. Dean found he was rapidly caught in Castiel's delightful human sight, and he couldn't really tear his gaze away from these dark blue eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of the true angelic form it beheld.

"It _scares _me, alright? I tend to forget so quickly you're not human – when we're having a nice chat, or when we're driving somewhere, hell, even when we fight together. I always tend to think you're just my friend, and I know it shouldn't matter, but then I remind myself that I've never seen your true form. I know you for more than a year now, and I don't even know what you really look like. It's like this secret I'm not allowed to disclose, but I'm frigging impatient to do so. I _want_ to know what you look like, I think I'd feel less twitchy then whenever you're around. But I remember what happened last time a human wanted to lay eyes on you, so..."

Castiel fleetingly broke their eye contact, each idea of a smile completely washed away from his features. The way he lowered his lids seemed nothing but _shy_ and utterly_ embarrassed_ to Dean, and now it was his time so smile. Castiel kneaded his hands into each other, obviously uncertain what to say. Finally he took a deep breath and closed his lids.

"Well, I... I could show you a bit, I suppose. It won't hurt you when I reveal a part of my essence, but... Dean, it's... it's a very _intimate _thing to do. We usually don't show our real shape to humans", Castiel's low voice rumbled, making Dean's stomach churn with a hot wave of giddiness. He wanted to move away from Castiel's body, but somehow he found he was actually moving closer, and their thighs touched. Dean felt his face steaming, just the mere thought of Castiel sharing an intimacy like this with him felt incredibly precious and arousing to him.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to", he offered, attempting to ease the tensed atmosphere between them. He didn't even know anymore what he was doing as he saw his own hand slide down from Castiel's shoulder, wandering down his clothed arm, to rest right upon Cas' hand, lying on the mattress steadily. He felt the soft warm texture of Castiel's skin meeting his palm, and he found the courage to place his fingers around Castiel's and give his hand an assuring squeeze. Castiel opened his eyes and looked at him, tilted his head in the way Dean was already used to. There was a faint smile on Castiel's lips, a soft expression in his eyes.

"I understand, Dean. Your motives are reasonable... I want to let you see it, I want to show you... But you have to tell me when it is too much, when you feel an ache or something like a burning sense."

Dean nodded vigorously, excited and touched that Castiel allowed him to share this intimacy with him. Castiel's eyes never left his when a stain of white bright light started to show in the middle of his chest, but Dean's eyes wandered down to examine the ball of light – it slowly started to grow and Dean felt a bit blinded by it, but it looked ethereal, unreal, remarkable. There were mellow tints of dark blue mingling with the sheer white, and Dean felt pure and cleansed, just from looking at it. A faint breath of wind fanned against his body, and it smelt richly of a flowery spring and salty sea air – it touched his body like a warm ray of sunlight, warming and burning his skin tenderly. He knew it was risky and probably idiotic, but he felt drawn to the light, from which all miracles seemed to originate.

He slowly reached out his hand and brought it against the light, his fingertips carefully touched it – he saw them being dipped into it, and it just felt warm, as warm as the intestines of a human might feel like, but that was it. Just warmth, and endless cleanliness – Dean felt, as if it washed away all his sins, as if he had been given a second chance, he felt like a new man. He heard Castiel moan softly and he looked up to see the angel had closed his lids at Dean's touch. He watched him as he slowly moved his fingers along the light, stroking it, and Castiel shuddered and exhaled a shaky breath. An agonized high-pitched "Dean" entered Dean's ear, it sounded squeaked out in pleasure. Another low moan and Dean started to clutch the light tight, and he saw Castiel tense up vehemently, and it was in that moment, that the light disappeared at once.

Dean felt deprived of the beauty he had just witnessed, but when he saw Castiel's human form trembling and twitching next to him, completely flabbergasted and plainly aroused, Dean couldn't help but smile and be grateful to have Castiel's other form to his side. Castiel panted and a few more moans escaped his lips – his hand held Dean's tightly, he had his lids closed, trying to calm his breathing. Dean's eyes clung to the exclusive sight next to him, and he felt his own jeans tightening around him painfully. He felt breathless and thoughtless when he bend forward and placed a chaste kiss upon Castiel's cheek, breathing his soapy clean scent in. Castiel tilted his head to meet Dean's lips, and Dean stayed like this for a second; both of them clearly enjoyed the nearness, the cautious approximation to each other.

Finally Dean let his other hand, the one Castiel wasn't still holding, wander to Cas' back of the head and he gently twirled some of his dark strands between his fingers. He tenderly stroked his scalp, as his mouth wandered to Castiel's ear.

"Thank you. I think I can handle this personal space issue better now. You're sight's not something I must fear, Cas, you're frigging beautiful. Wish I could see all of you, though", he whispered hoarsely into his ear, feeling him cramp at the tone of his voice, and there was just challenging heat between them, incredibly arousing heat. Dean could feel his heart throbbing in his throat, he heard his own shaky breaths – and then Castiel's arms came around his frame, keeping him close.

"I could show you some human stuff in return, if you like", Dean boldly suggested, and he smiled when he heard Castiel chuckle softly.

"I'd like that", he replied, and it sounded like a promising intention.

**THE END**

Sooo what do you think? :)


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